Study Identifies Inconsistencies In Safety Precautions by Online Daters
HOUSTON—(Aug. 21, 2007)—A study by The University of Texas School of Public Health of women seeking male companionship online revealed that some women are cautious when it comes to personal safety and casual when it comes to sexual safety.
Published in a recent edition of Sexuality Research & Social Policy, a journal of the National Sexuality Research Center, the women’s sexual health study by Paige M. Padgett, Ph.D., a research associate in the UT School of Public Health’s division of epidemiology & disease control, involved 740 women who had placed online personal ads seeking men. The study is titled Personal Safety and Sexual Safety for Women Using Online Personal Ads.
“This is the face of the future when it comes to men and women meeting for friendship, love and sex,” said Padgett, noting that Online Dating Magazine estimates that more than 20 million people visit at least one online dating service a month. “The Internet has become one of the most popular mediums for soliciting relationships.”
The study found that women go to great lengths to screen would-be suitors. The survey reported that they request photographs, check for small-talk inconsistencies, run criminal background checks and call workplace phone numbers. Final precautions include meeting men in public places, arranging their own transportation, giving the man’s name to a friend and calling a friend before and after the encounter.
The study also revealed that many of the 568 surveyed women who eventually met their online dates engaged in risky sexual behaviors. Thirty percent of the respondents reported having sex on their first date. Seventy-seven percent of respondents reported not using a condom during their first sexual encounter.
Padgett said otherwise cautious women may engage in unprotected sex because they are lulled into a sense of “virtual intimacy.” By the time couples meet face-to-face, they have exchanged much information about their backgrounds, their likes and dislikes, as well as their sexual preferences.
“The high level of disclosure and frequency of e-mail exchanges with men provides women with at least a virtual intimacy—a sense of a relationship that may or may not exist in reality but may encourage sexual intimacy at a faster rate than what would develop through conventional dating methods,” Padgett said.
Despite these findings, Padgett feels the Internet is a good way for women to meet men. “Women are in a position of power when the communication starts. They get to screen the men and decide who they want to meet,” she said. “If they don’t feel comfortable, women can hit the delete button and end it.”
Additionally, the anonymous environment of the Internet makes discussing sexual issues easier. “Discussing such issues initially via e-mail may render these subjects less intimidating for face-to-face discussions and increase the comfort level when people are faced with making decisions about actual sexual behavior,” she said. “The potential is there for women to use the Internet and e-mail communication as a platform to discuss their sexual safety. What women who use the Internet to meet men need to do is take advantage of the opportunity to actualize this potential.”
The survey found that women who demand much information from the men answering their ads initially provide little to no information about themselves. One respondent wrote: “Gut reaction, do not give real name, do not give address or phone number to him... I make things as safe for me as possible.”
Padgett’s questionnaire, which included 92 items, was posted on seven websites that accept personal ads from women seeking male companionship. Some were looking for love, others for sex.
Additional safety precautions gleaned from the survey include:
- Conducting a Google search of the man’s name;
- Requesting that a friend vouch for the man;
- Utilizing feminine intuition or gut feeling;
- Getting a feeling for someone by their phone voice;
- Discussing the limits of sexual activity up front;
- Asking for information on the man’s sexual history;
- Evaluating e-mail answers and views on various topics.
One respondent summarized her online screening process this way: “First, careful reading of the e-mail; second, requiring a photograph; third, talking by telephone and asking enough open questions that I would elicit opinions and interests... There is no foolproof method to avoid an ax murderer, but with all that, that was unlikely.”
The survey included both closed- and open-ended questions designed to document women’s experiences meeting men on the Internet. It was restricted to women 18 years of age or older who had placed an Internet personal ad to meet a man.
Sexuality Research & Social Policy is online at http://caliber.ucpress.net/doi/pdf/10.1525/srsp.2007.4.2.27