
STORY BYLast of a Three-Part Series:
“How to Avoid Financial Loss”
Conditioned by our moms, schooled on bridal magazines and powered by blind faith, few women include their CPAs, attorneys or financial planners in their wedding parties.
Though we might have cut our teeth on the Women’s Movement and now are corporate CEOs, we still might not be the financial designates in our own homes. We might not have even a passing knowledge of the whereabouts of our mortgage statement or deposit box—until disaster strikes.
Then suddenly, under the most extreme duress, we can’t answer the most basic of questions about his life insurance policy, or worse, if there even is a policy.
Women who firmly divided up “male” and “female” responsibilities may have a logistical nightmare ahead of them. “Even young women with successful careers may never have paid a bill, or know where their accounts are kept because that just wasn’t their job in the marriage,” says psychiatrist Nurun Shah of the University of Texas Medical School at Houston.
“This is no different than a man who loses a wife and has never called the children’s doctor or visited the kids’ school,” Shah says. Though it might not have been on our official duty list, our livelihoods might depend on some preventive information sharing.
“Women need to sit down with their husbands, when times are good and everyone’s healthy and ask them to fill in the financial-knowledge gaps.” suggests Robin K. Howard, an accountant herself, and then director of Planned Giving in the Office of Development at UT- Houston.
Make a date with your husband to go over the entire financial picture. Many husbands keep their important documents, bank statements and bills at their offices for convenience, so advance scheduling of this family seminar would be helpful.
Buy an accordion file box that is pre-labeled inside with dividers for bank statements, insurance, investments, receipts, etc. This will be your box. Have a legal pad handy.
Information You Need to Know or Need in Hand
UPDATED: 4-21-2003
Dr. Nurun Shah is associate Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the UT Medical School.
Make an appointment
with your stress—
and keep it!
Set aside a specified time of day, say 3:00 to 3:20 P.M. Keep this appointment with yourself—make it as important as a client or a child’s reading time.
Now, let the stress pour out of you, all the worry, guilt, what-ifs, if-onlys. Hold nothing back. Imagine every possible scenario that intrudes on you, day and night. Funnel it into that 20-minute period.
When the bell goes off, you are done, finished, until your next appointment with yourself.
When you’re tempted to let stressful thoughts crawl across your mind, remind yourself that you have 20 minutes to address them—tomorrow.