Health Leader, Tis the Season to be Stressed

STORY BY

Jacqueline Preston

The boss wants your finished report on New Year's Eve.
The toy store forgot to hold your child's video game-the one Santa promised.
The weird brother-in-law just rolled up your driveway-with five suitcases.
And a dog.
(These are the parts they leave out of the greeting card commercials.)

Each year, millions of Americans set themselves up for anxiety and depression during the holidays. The biggest culprit? Trying to do everything for everybody.

"Everybody goes into warp-drive starting after Thanksgiving," says Dr. Deborah Pearson, associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at The University of Texas Medical School at Houston. "We stretch ourselves too thin with unrealistically high expectations of what we think the holidays ought to be like."

Don't Become 'The Griswolds'

The movie National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation isn't so funny when the script seems to be ripped from pages of your life.

The idea of having one big happy family together for the holidays just might not happen. Old grudges and wounds can spoil a joyful time. So, put aside petty squabbling and use the holidays to put aside differences.

"The holidays make our normal feelings more intense. We may be more emotionally reactive-sadder and angrier than usual in certain situations. If you're dealing with relatives you really don't want to see, try to make the best of it," Pearson says. "Don't use the time to bring back unresolved issues. It not only will stress you out, but your children, too. Let it go."

5 Stories for the Holidays!

Our gift to you. Happy Holidays!

If you have lost a family member since the last holiday season, try to process the grief and support each other. "The holidays trigger painful reminders of loss," Pearson says. "If this is your first Christmas without Grandma, try focusing on the wonderful memories of her."

It's all about a proper and reasonable perspective. Yes, you can deal with that irritating cousin, Pearson says. "Just imagine being a soldier in Iraq who may not be coming home for the holidays. Focus on the positive."

Keep the Best Traditions

If that wonderful Christmas of 1971 is all you can think of, think again. Don't try to slavishly recreate the perfect holiday. Pearson recalls her mother, a stay-home mom, transforming their house into a winter wonderland when Pearson was a child. "I can't do that," she adds, "but I try to preserve certain traditions for my family like decorating the house on a smaller scale."

If you enjoy sending holiday greeting cards but don't have the time or patience, Pearson says consider typing address labels rather than hand-addressing each envelope. "Your family won't be hurt if they get a labeled envelope."

It's Not All About Me

Giving really is as good as getting. Pearson says the reward of giving to others is an invaluable way not only to build your child's character, but also to exemplify the true meaning of this season.

When her son, John, was only 2 years old, Pearson taught him the importance of doing something for others. Every Christmas, Pearson's family donates toys to children of incarcerated parents through a prison ministry. "Ever since he was a little kid, we have taught John the importance of helping others. Now he's eight and he still knows that we'll be shopping for a child whose mom is in prison."

Holiday Stress Busters

Pearson offers some tips to help make the season merry and bright:

Set a budget. Next year, set aside a certain amount of money and stick with it. You don't want to be broke in January.
Shop online. Get those gifts dropped off at your door without all the chaos of mall and street traffic.
Cater your holiday spread. Supermarkets and cafeterias can be lifesavers. Just call ahead to talk menus and prices.
Potluck your holiday spread. If you're on a tight budget or schedule, let the family pitch in and prepare a few dishes.
Hire a babysitter. Remember, high school students are also out of school for the holiday break and make great babysitters. And, consider hiring within by recruiting a nephew or niece. It'll keep them occupied, too and employed.
Call on grandparents. Take advantage of in-town parents as sitters, if they are willing and able. Everybody benefits.
Arrange play dates for your children. Get together with five other families and agree to stay home for one day. You'll buy yourself a week. Plus, the children will be busy and happy and won't say, "I'm bored."
Get out of the house. Work off the stress by taking your family to the zoo, a children's museum, a movie or a holiday pageant.
Don't be afraid to ask for time alone. One long bath or an hour running errands alone must be negotiated somehow. (The kids might love an afternoon with your weird brother-in-law.)
Join in fun activities with your children. Take up some arts and crafts and games. A good Web site to check out is www.christmas-activities.com.
Teach your children to think of others. Have them make homemade greeting cards to friends and relatives. They can even send a message of cheer to soldiers in Iraq online at www.operationdearabby.net.

Last Updated: 12-20-2004

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About Dr. Pearson:

Dr. Deborah Pearson is an associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the UT Medical School.

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Health Tip:

Packing Bag Lunches Safely

If you pack lunches for your child to take to school, be careful that you do not accidentally expose them to foodborne illness.

Bagged lunches, especially those containing perishable foods, need to be packed and handled properly in order to keep the food safe. In general, perishable foods should not be left at room temperature for more than two hours. If left out too long, the temperature of the food can enter the danger zone where bacteria grow most rapidly, which is between 40 and 140 degrees Fahrenheit.

Below are some tips to help families pack bagged lunches safely:

Pack foods that are nonperishable and won't require refrigeration.
If you do pack perishable foods such as luncheon meats or prepackaged cheese and crackers, include a frozen gel pack or a frozen juice carton with the food in an insulated lunch bag or box.
Pack only the amount of perishable food that your child can eat at lunch.
Preparing lunches the night before and storing them in the refrigerator until you pack your child's lunchbox in the morning can help keep food cold longer the next day.
Don't reuse packaging materials such as paper or plastic bags, aluminum foil, etc. as they can contaminate other foods and cause foodborne illness. Have your child discard all used food packaging and paper bags after lunch.

Before eating lunch or snacks at school, make sure your child washes his or her hands with soap and warm water for at least 20 seconds. If your child's school does not have a handwashing program in place, encourage them to adopt a such a program, as handwashing is one of the best ways kids and parents can protect health and stop the spread of germs.